If It Makes Her Happy
by Shadow Ice Maiden
Summary: I loved her enough to be whatever it is she needed me to be. No matter how much it hurt my heart to be it." Z/E Slightly angsty. Beware of Rant. I do not own HoN or any of the characters or themes related to it. Slightly drabblish.


**Warnings**:

-Haven't actually finish the book yet so definitely _not_ accurate. Sorta non-canon bordering on AU actually.

-Kind angstyish I guess.

-A/N is actually kind of a rant so be warned

-Slight Stark bashing in the rant so if you are a Stark fan, stay away. No bashing in the actual fic though, I promise.

-Some cursing in the rant, but nothing too bad

A/N: Ok, I'm only about halfway through with _Tempted _so I probably shouldn't be posting anything until I finish, but I'm getting seriously PISSED OFF!!! (If you don't want to read a pointless rant, please feel free to skip ahead to the line of Ts)

I HATE Stark!!! With a BURNING PASSION!!! He practically screams "Mary-Sue." I'm supposed to just believe he can waltz right in, push Erik outta the way, be loved by everyone, and all of a sudden _Erik _is the bad guy? Erik who I've loved since book 1? Sweet, Star Wars loving, dorkish yet totally hot, perfect Erik just does a one-eighty and is all of a sudden a total ass? No way, Jose.

Is it just me or is Erik totally ooc? Erik was never all that macho jerkish like he just all of a sudden is. Yeah, Zoey and him got together again, but you'd think that would make him less jerky. And he wasn't totally cool with Heath but I just have no idea where this ass-ish Erik came from. And Zoey just brushes him off like a mosquito! Even though _she _was the one who told _him _she missed him. _She's _the one who initiated it. And then _she _just runs off and is all "Oh Stark! I love you!"

To be completely honest, I'm about ready to give up on HoN. At this point, I'm reading for Stevie Rae and Aphrodite. This fic is really just to give me a bit of Erik niceness rather than jerky oocness until I can finish the book and decide whether or not to read _Burned. _–Sighs- Anyway, sorry for that. I just seriously needed to get that out.

Rant over. Please enjoy the story.

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The sound of the stairway door echoed ominously behind me. Through the barrier behind me, I heard Zoey's door open and, predictably, Aphrodite stumble out. She'd been eavesdropping on our conversation/fight/breakup. It should have pissed me off, but I didn't think I had the emotional will to feel anything through the cold mask I had placed on my face and heart.

"Oopsie," I heard the blonde say, "Guess I was, uh-"

"Listening to my big breakup scene with Erik?" Zoey's voice made my heart beat a little harder in my chest.

"Yeah, that would be what I was doing. And may I say I don't blame you. Talk about an asshat. Plus, you don't-" Aphrodite's voice dropped out as the door was firmly shut behind them. One corner of my mouth turned up in a crude imitation of a smile. At least they both fell for it.

Sighing and leaning back against the cool door, I dropped the asswholeish persona I had been wearing for the last twenty-four hours and sank miserably against the vertical surface behind me. I was exhausted. I could feel the weariness that painted my face and stripped me of my ability to support myself. I sighed again and tried to block out the throbbing in my much abused chest. My heart was broken… as I had known it would be. Part of me- the naïve, teenager I wish I could still be- had hoped Zoey would deny her relationships with Heath and Stark and Kalona and choose me. Yes, I realize that it was a low blow to bring up the immortal who I knew very well she was trying her best to resist. I struck a lot of low blows. But, they were necessary and in the end they had yielded the result I had wanted. It did not sooth the wounds on my heart. It was too much to hope for that she would want me. I had known that from the beginning. That, of course, did _not _mean it didn't hurt. A lot. Excruciatingly so.

I realized, of course, that my jerkish behavior would make a lot of people here hate me or at least dislike me. I would lose the friends I had made among Zoey's group. I knew that. I accepted that. Nevertheless, I would not abandon her. I would be right there with her, whether she realized it or not. That thought sent another pang through my already scarred heart.

The truth was, it was easier this way. For both of us. Zoey had her Consort. He gave her comfort and a sense of normalcy that she desperately sought. She had her Warrior. He protected her and loved her. And she loved him. I was a moot point. She wasn't going to choose me. This way she only had to worry about balancing two guys. I could understand that.

The truth is, I wasn't blind. I could see the way they looked at each other. She's loved him since she first met him. Given the choice, she would have ditched me on her own. Only, she would feel bad for hurting me. This way she wouldn't feel like she had to spare my feelings.

Zoey needed Heath for his blood and the comfort he gave her. She needed Stark to protect her and love her. I had decided to be the only other thing she needed. She needed to be mad at someone. She needed someone to focus her anger on. She needed someone to act like a normal teenager. She didn't need me to be sweet and caring and boyfriend-ish right then. And I loved her enough to be whatever it is she needed me to be. No matter how much it hurt my heart to be it.

Biting my lip hard, I choked back a sob and nearly jumped out of my skin when Zoey and Aphrodite began screaming bloody murder. For an instant, my instincts screamed at me to go. To help them. To see what was going on.

And then I heard James Stark struggling up the stairs.

He would help her. He would protect her. He would take care of her.

That was his job…

… and I needed to do mine.

That meant hiding in the shadows as the love of my love struggled past me. That meant slipping back on the cold mask that felt like a thousand pounds on my tired body. That meant walking away as _he _comforted her. As _he _protected her. As _he _held her.

I felt what was left of my heart shatter.

Alright. I could do that.

If it makes her happy…

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A/N: Still a steadfast Z/E fan here. I refuse to believe Erik is actually a jerk. Hopefully now I'll be able to finish _Tempted_ without causing it harm…

So yeah. Review if you want. I'd appreciate your thoughts on this subject.

May the Force be with you.

A/N: Ok, just finished the book and may I say... wow. Ok, so I sorta saw it coming since, well, there was no other way to get Zoey to choose but... dude... whoa. Still loving Z/E though so I'm hoping when she gets back something will happen there but at the same time, not really expecting it. -insert sad face-

Btw, totally did _not _see the whole Steive RaexRephiam thing, but I kinda like it. What do you guys think? Oh, and the whole Kalona isn't-bad-but-is-but-was-really-just-deceiving-her thing totally messed with my mind. still have no clue what to do with that...

Anyway, as it stands now, I guess I have no choice but to read _Burned_. So yeah, rant numba 2 is now over. Sorry for wasting your time.


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